‘Vanderpump Rules’ zodiac signs explain cheating scandal

Pump the brakes. What fresh hell is this?

Reality TV reached record levels of emotional carnage in the wake the shocking revelation that “Vanderpump Rules” star Tom Sandoval has been carrying on a months long affair with cast mate Raquel Leviss, the supposed bestie of his long time girlfriend, Ariana Madix.

The dark deed came to light while Madix was supporting her two-timing man and his cover band the Most Extras (eye roll) as they took the stage at his bar TomTom in West Hollywood. Following the show, Madix discovered an explicit video of Leviss masturbating on Sandoval’s phone. Oy.

After viewing the “intimate” video, Madix called Leviss, who was in NYC filming “Watch What Happens Live” with VPR costar Scheana Shay. After confirming the affair Leviss alleges Shay, in true ride or die Taurus fashion and in the name of scorned women everywhere, punched her in the face. And you thought you were having a tense week. Madix has since ended her relationship with Sandoval and Leviss, who has been excommunicated by the cast, filed a restraining order against Shay.

“Vanderpump Rules” is currently shooting season 10, but you can sharpen your knives and prepare for a cage match when the reunion begins filming at the end of March. Let the tea spill and the blood flow. In the meantime, read on to learn more about the astrological energy behind this scandal and betwixt these cast mates.

Tom Sandoval, anatomy of a scoundrel

Tom Sandoval is a moody Cancer sun with an erratic Gemini moon.
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No one point in a birth chart confirms or denies whether someone is a philandering piece of trash as we aren’t born to betray. That being said, there is a lot of f–k boi energy at play in Sandoval’s stars.

Born July 7, 1983, our man is a Cancer sun with a Gemini moon. Cancer is governed by emotion and Gemini is terminally indecisive, a combination that lends itself to serious disassociation in the name of self-satisfaction/preservation. This helps to explain how and why the Sandoval affair went on undetected for so long, save for Andy Cohen’s suspicions and Lala Kent’s intuition.

According to the laws of physics, an object in motion tends to stay in motion and a philandering dude tends to stay the course of philandering. We see this in Sandoval who was having an emotional affair with Madix, that culminated in a Las Vegas make out session, while still dating his then girlfriend Kristen Doute… who then dated Leviss’ future fiancé James Kennedy. The emotional incest of this cast is absolutely unparalleled.

I digress.

Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix pose at Schwartz & Sandy’s lounge.
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Ariana Madix is not gullible, Tom Sandoval is a warlock shapeshifter.

Sandoval’s sun/moon coupling is almost otherworldly in its capacity for manipulation, entitlement, gaslighting and justification for acts of emotional terrorism. Ariana Madix is not gullible, Tom Sandoval is a warlock shapeshifter. He claimed he couldn’t come clean about cheating because they share a home and he was “concerned about how it would affect her mental health”…. but, like not concerned enough to not f–k her friend in said home while she was out of town.

A Gemini moon like Sandoval feels restricted when tied to their own Cancer sun or to a Cancer partner, like Madix. This moon craves freedom and variety, cheap thrills and constant stimulation. At it’s this lunar placement is both unstable and insatiable.

Add to the soup of selfhood that Sandoval has Mars in Cancer. In astrology, Mars is the planet of action and confrontation and in the sign of Mars it is seriously debilitated. Unable to express or exert itself fully, Mars in Cancer tends towards indirect aggression, narcissism, simmering rage, an utter lack of accountability, side eying, side stepping and shady s–t. For evidence look no further than Sandoval’s recent mea culpa, clear emphasis on ME as his initial attempt at public atonement lacked any mention of Ariana Madix and instead urged haters not to boycott his recently opened lounge Schwartz and Sandy’s. I can’t even with this dude.

Raquel Leviss is at the beginning of her karmic reckoning

Raquel has Venus in shade loving Scorpio.
Getty Images for Kilian Paris

Born September 12, 1994, Raquel Leviss is a Virgo sun, Sagittarius moon, with Venus in Scorpio. In terms of fatal attraction, Leviss’ Venus in Scorpio trines Sandoval’s Mars in Cancer, a sure fire sign of an instant physical spark.

Prior to Scandoval, Leviss was engaged to cast mate James Kennedy. The former beauty queen recently came under fire for making out with “the other Tom” (a better band name IMO) Tom Schwartz following his split from Capricorn wife and master of the blunt bob, Katie Maloney. Leviss also caught shade from friends and spectators for making out with Oliver Saunders, who was still married at the time of their indiscretion.

Why the consistent messiness of male interactions?

Leviss has Venus, planet of love, attraction and attachment in the dark waters of Scorpio. This is a Venus that thrives on the taboo and has a sweet tooth for secrecy and the more scandalous the circumstances, the harder it is for this Venus placement to resist. If it doesn’t run the risk of social ruin and include wearing a secret lightning bolt cheaters charm, it just doesn’t get their blood pumping or their loins warm. Unsubstantiated hot take: Leviss broke off her engagement with James Kennedy because of her clandestine feels for the cover band cocksman. Interestingly, Leviss’s Venus in Scorpio falls in her twelfth house of hidden enemies and self-undoing. You do it to yourself bb.

VANDERPUMP RULES -- "Reunion" -- Pictured: (l-r) Lisa Vanderpump, James Kennedy, Raquel Leviss -- (Photo by: Christopher Polk/Bravo)
Leviss pictured with her pastel painted ex- fiancé James Kennedy.
Christopher Polk/Bravo

How will Leviss fare post affair? Virgo is punishingly self-critical, ever consumed with how they could and should have been better and Venus in Scorpio writhes like a vampire in the noon day sun when their dirty laundry is aired. It all adds up to ouch, folks. I am not suggesting Leviss is a victim, I am saying we can rest assured that her self-flagellation is well under way. Further, Scorpio placements speak of/tend to seek vengeance so it tracks that Leviss would threaten legal action against her cast mates.

Add to the mix that Raquel has Saturn in Pisces. Saturn is the daddy planet of punishment, tough love and hard knocks who has JUST entered the waters of Pisces on March 7th, signaling Leviss’s Saturn return. That karmic reckoning came quick and correct for Leviss but the painful lessons she is learning now and the full weight of the pain she has caused are all meant to forge her by fire and public condemnation into the person she is meant to be. For Leviss we can only hope that Saturn = actualization through adversity.

The best is yet to come for Ariana Madix

SANTA MONICA, CA - NOVEMBER 11:  Ariana Madix attends the People's Choice Awards 2018 at Barker Hangar on November 11, 2018 in Santa Monica, California.  (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images)
Ariana Madix is a Cancer sun with a Virgo moon.
Getty Images

Born June 24, 1985 Ariana Madix is a Cancer with a Virgo moon and thus shares a sun sign with Tom Sandoval. OF COURSE these two crabs bought a house together and are allegedly still living in it together because that is what Cancer people do, they nest, even and especially when the nest is made of suspicion, body wax and trauma bonding. When Cancers get to coupling, it is usually for the long haul and they endure in spite and because of obvious incompatibility.

This pair may have needed something irrevocable to transpire between them in order to seek the divergent paths they are ultimately meant to walk. In terms of synastry aspects, Sandoval’s Neptune in Sagittarius squares Madix’s moon in Virgo, suggesting there is tension and confusion/emotional upset on Madix’s end in relationship to Sandoval’s escapist pursuits, vices and habit of getting between the legs of her friends.

Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix.
Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix, a pair of Cancers sharing a home and surviving a scandal.
BRAVO/Watch What Happens Live

Venus in Scorpio writhes like a vampire in the noon day sun when their dirty laundry is aired.

She has never been able to see him clearly or trust him fully because of this aspect and others in his chart that support his lizard wizard energy. Based on their respective birth charts, Sandoval and Madix were more limiting than expanding to each other and as she moves away from the car crash of their coupling she will begin to see him for who he is and invest her compassion and prodigious “fixer” upper Virgo moon energy into herself.

Keep your head up and your eyebrows right, baby. Trust that it’s all falling apart so that it can come together.

Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars

Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.